just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My dick has a subreddit
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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