This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
