Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
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Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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