drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
