we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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