does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
