i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It was confusing and full of hummus
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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