yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
