We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
