wakey wakey hands off snakey
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
