Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
