They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
