I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Randomize
