I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
