dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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