Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
