he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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