ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
