He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If I die, sorry about rent.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
