Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize