He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
do herpes really smell.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
