It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
