I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize