How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
