since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
