So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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