So drunk, too bad you don't want this
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
