Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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