people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
is wine microwaveable?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
