Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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