Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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