I wish I could teleport
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
