Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
