so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
