Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
