I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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