I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize