were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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so let's talk penis.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
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I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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