Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
