Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
