You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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