So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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