i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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