dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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