My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
