I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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