as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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