You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Randomize
