i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
