Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
