What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
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