watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
soo... how was my night?
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