she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
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Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
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Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
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