if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
