I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
