either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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