You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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