What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm going to jail i love you
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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