Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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