DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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