I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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