i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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