I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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