Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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